Baptisms & Fredricton

Dearest My Peeps,

How're things? I'm doing quite well. I took Patrick home yesterday, then stayed over night. He went to Fredricton for March Break. He'll be back again next Saturday or Sunday. I throughly enjoyed myself. Apparently I'll be back for a few days in May. One of his friends is getting married & he's asked me to be his "plus one" to the ceremony. Not a clue what I'll wear, but hey, I can bet it'll be clothes of some sort. Likely niceish ones too.

There was a baptismal service tonight at church. There were four planned baptisms & one total spontaneous one. After Pastor was done the four, he was like "I've never done this here before, but if there's anybody who should be up here being baptized, feel free to come up. I'll wait a few minutes for you." So the assistant pastor kept singing, while Pastor waited.

Now, let me add, that I don't fully know if I was ever baptized before or not. I think I was, but I don't really remember for sure. If I was, I was young enough that it didn't make much of an impact, though I seem to recall making them all laugh. And really, it would have been just because it was the thing to do, not because Jesus had actually done anything for me, besides letting me be born into the family I was. It wasn't till I was almost 14 that He personally saved me & pulled me back from the brink. (If you don't know what, when or how & want to know, ask. If you know, great. If you couldn't care less, your choice.)

So I was the totally spontaneous one. Mrs. Pastor followed me out of the sanctuary, to see if I needed help getting the robe on (they have choir robey things for baptisms, to guarentee something doesn't become see through or something I guess). Since I had no change of clothes, I didn't specially need help. I stripped off down to my bra and panties (I couldn't have went in front of the congregation without those; I'd have felt like such a tramp & wouldn't have survived) and put the robe on. Then I totally went to the baptismal tank. Pastor asked me if I wanted to share what was on my mind. I was totally like, "Well, I don't know if I was ever baptised or not. Apparently if I was, I was young enough that it didn't make much of an impression. And since it wasn't till I was 13 or 14 that Jesus personally made an impression on me, if I ever was, it was when I was pretty little. But Jesus is now my best friend, has been for years, & I just wanted to make sure that people know."

Well, if there was any doubt before, there's none now. At least, hopefully. I haven't been to church really regular the last little while. The rare time I have a Sunday off, it's usually the only day Patrick and I have off together, so I go to his place. But I've been missing church some, not ever being there, so I've been trying harder to get out a bit more regular. And I still get to see Patrick at least once a week, so it's great.

I guess that the weirdest part is, Jesus & I are doing the best we ever have. Now I have to work at the relationship harder I guess, and that would do it, wouldn't it? But isn't it a little sad that it was always so hard when I spent all my spare time with my fellow Christians? I never did fit with them though, so that's part of it too. I never did fit with anybody anywhere until I started working where I work now. As far as I know, I'm the only Christian there. Well, one of them is a relatively faithful Catholic, so they might be, I dunno. But at least one is agnostic & I'm pretty sure another is to. One equates Jesus with Santa & they since don't believe in Santa, you can see where this leads. Another can't prove that Jesus was the Son of God, just that He did for certain exist, so they can't believe in Someone who can't be proven. The last one doesn't care one way or the other, & doesn't want to think too much about the whole thing.

Definately more power to them, don't get me wrong. I don't care what they believe, it's not really any of my business. I know that Jesus is the Son of God, the Maker of the universe & the only Key to eternal life. I know without a doubt that I'm right & everybody who disagrees with the fact is wrong. But I can't tell anybody anywhere what they need to believe. It's not my place, nor my issue. It's entirely between them & God & they can deal with it on their own as they come to the place where they need to.

What's weird is that this is the first place I've ever fit in. Not with the other people who claim to love Jesus. Not with the people where everybody is supposed to fit. No, I fit with the people who think I'm "religious" because they don't know the difference between religion & a relationship with the Maker of Everything. I fit with the people who have little or nothing to do with Jesus. What's wrong with this picture, really though? I mean, hooray that I finally fit, but WHY!? Why can't the church accept everybody as they are rather than trying to change them? Why does the church feel that it's their responsibility to do what only God can do? Only God can change people. Only God should have any say about where somebody fits. Only God, not the church.

It just annoys me that organized religion has twisted scripture so throughly. "It's all about a man, who died on the cross, to save the world. He rose from the dead, did what He said He would. He loved everyone He saw, what He did says it all." It's a song by Audio Adreniline I think. I'm not sure who it's by, but it's truth. It's all about the fact that Jesus, who is God, part of the Trinity, and the Maker of everything left Heaven, left perfection, to live & die as a human. He left all that was good & pure & holy to grow up here. To be rejected & scorned & to die in one of the most painful ways possible at that time. To come back to life 3 days later, having descended into hell to conquer death.

Yup, sure pretty nearly everybody alive today is going to physically die. But everybody alive today will not stay dead. Jesus offered a way out of death, hell & the grave. He offers life immortal to anybody who will accept it. To EVERYBODY who will accept it, not just to the ones who fit with the church today.

Thus, religion irritates me. It does nothing but hurt, kill & destroy. Look at the chaos in the Middle East. It's all about religion. Live, and let live. I know I'm right, but apparently hardly anybody else has figured that out yet. Oh well, they'll know for sure one day. Scripture says that one day every knee will bow & every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

Anyhow, I'm shutting up now. The above wasn't intended to offend anybody. As I've said before & will say again, everybody is entitled to believe whatever they so desire. That not only encompasses everybody else, but also me. I can believe what I want to, just like any other person on this planet.

And I choose to believe Jesus & "Life without end, amen." It's the only thing that makes complete sense & the one thing that cannot be squelched, no matter how hard anybody trys. It's been around more than 2000 years (since time began to be perfectly honest) & will be around time immemorable. That's my choice. I wish everybody else would make the same choice & discovery, but until they do, whatever. They can make their own choice.

So I'm really shutting up now. G'night Dearest My Peeps. Cheers!
Vicky Ellen
"Resolve to be thyself; and know that who finds himself, loses his misery." Matthew Arnold