Hey Gorgeous, How's Sexy?

So I realized that I've never gotten around to updating on my whole cat situation. It actually has changed quite a lot. For starters, he hasn't come back. He hasn't let me see him OR hear him. I still hold out hope that I'll hear of him sometime soon, but there's no guarantee and I doubt I'll be surprised if I never see him again.

Poor guy.

Stupid idiot.

Sigh.

Anyway, so a few weeks passed without a cat at all. Not that it was much change, all it meant was I didn't have to keep food out or change little box. It's not like I could touch or play with him anyway. In this time, I started going to the SPCA on my days off to help out a little. Mostly I go, sit in the room with the cats and let them climb all over me. I pat them & play with them so they won't be so lonely. You'd be surprised how desperate the poor little guys are for attention. The workers try to spend time with them, but there's so much to do & not enough time in any given day.

Anyway, I went and it was fine. I enjoyed myself, but I didn't meet any special little one. I went back and on my 2nd trip in, I met her. I went into the adult room first, then into the kitten room, then I went into the in between room. She was sitting there, curled up all comfy, watching me. She looked up at me, our eyes met and bam! It was the weirdest thing ever; it was like she looked into my eyes & saw my soul. Rather as though she had managed to see that bit of me that nobody ever sees & found that she didn't care one way or the other what she saw. I was who I am, and that was fine by her.

I sat down on the floor to play with them. I didn't dare go over to her, in case I was imagining her or some fool thing like that and started to play with the cats. She stayed where she was & just watched me. Stared her head off, but didn't move. She wouldn't come over when I tried to entice her, but just watched me. Finally the rest of the cats started to wander off and I got up. I went over and held out my hand. She sniffed it politely and looked up at me. I picked her up and started patting her. She just got comfortable, started purring & let me. At this point I went and found a worker while I was holding her & asked who she was. Her name is Ariel, just like the Little Mermaid.

After a bit, I put her down & patted her one last time. I was running late for an appointment. She looked up at me as if to say, "Thanks for that" and tucked her nose under her tail to go to sleep. The reason I hadn't met her before was because she'd just came in a few weeks before and had immediately fallen sick, so she'd been in the back room trying to get over it.

I went home in a right state. I wanted that cat. I wanted her more than I'd wanted ANYTHING in a very long time. But, when I told my folks, I got the response I expected, and was told not right now. I moped around the house for the rest of the night, not realizing why I was so miserable. Before I went to bed I clued in that I missed my cat. It was weird.

Anyhow, I understood why my folks wanted to wait a bit, so I didn't push it with them. I told them that when the mice came back, they'd be very hard pressed to stop me. After that infestation last year where nothing we tried would dispose of them, I'm quite convinced I'll have a cat forever now.

So I just took it to a higher power. The HIGHEST power. I prayed about her. I told God how much I wanted her. I've never wanted a specific cat so badly before. I've always wanted a cat, but it wouldn't have mattered who, so long as it was a cat. I asked him to please keep her safe for me & could he please hold her there for me until I could get her? But if it wasn't okay for me to have her, could He please ensure that she got placed in a GOOD home this time, with somebody who would love her & dote on her the way she deserves. Still, I really would like her & could He please help me get her?

I went to sleep. Had crazy messed up dreams about that stupid Little Mermaid from the movie. Finally around 6 I got up to use the washroom. No big deal, I do this pretty much every night at least twice. I went back to bed & turned on my music. I was just starting to drift back off to sleep when I heard the characteristic CRACK that the mice make when they squeeze out of the little hole in my wall. I was instantly wide awake, hoping that I was hearing things. I didn't get up, but lay there, listening with all my might. After about 5 minutes, I heard it. 'Scuffle, scuffle, scuffle!' I sat up & turned on my lamp, so I could watch as I listened. It was hardly 2 minutes when I saw the little monster run across my floor and hide in a bag of grocery bags I had on the floor.

I do mean little too. He was small enough he could have sat on one of those old silver dollars & not spilled over the edge. Well, I was out of bed with my stuffed bear & upstairs in under a minute. I slept on the laz-e-boy for the rest of the night, trying not to cry. I was just remembering the last time & freaking out that they were still going to say no I couldn't get my cat.

Well, they didn't say no. They didn't want to, but they let me get her. Rather, they let me foster her. Which means I get her for a little while without paying the adoption fee. If I end up keeping her, I pay the adoption fee then. Normally they won't foster out healthy animals. They'll only foster out the ones that need special attention to get better or special attention to break their shyness. But when I explained what was going on to the girl at the SPCA, she let me foster Ariel for now, even though she wasn't sick or anything any more.

We had a brief scare that she might be starting to be pregnant after we first got her. I'm pretty sure now that she was just in heat, but I'm trying to keep an eye on her. Apparently if she is pregnant, just as soon as we're sure, they'll have her spayed. I'm not sure I approve of it, since it sounds very much like abortion, but the vet technician made a good point. They'd rather operate and have the kittens sounds asleep & not fully formed instead of having to put down cuddly kittens in 3 months when nobody wants them. Apparently the cat never seems to care or be bothered by the fact that somebody stole her babies & it's easier.

I see their point. But I'm still praying frantically that she isn't pregnant. I need to get her spayed, but I don't want to have to make her have an abortion. Needless to say I'm stoked. It seems like WAY too many coincidences to be coincidence. Besides, I don't believe in coincidence. Everything has a reason. EVERYTHING! Might not always be clear what the reason is, but there always is one. ALWAYS!

Anyway, that's the scoop. Black little lad has run away, orange little tabby has taken his place. For now at any rate. She's the most loving cat I've EVER had. She comes running when I call (sometimes), follows me around, sleeps with me, sleeps on me when I'm watching movies, meets me at the door when I get home from being out. It's great. She really likes water too, which really messes with my head. I swear if I'd have let her in the tub when I was having my bath the other night, she would have jumped all the way in, the way she was playing with the water. It was really weird. Cute as all get out, but weird.

So I'm off. I work today & need to go get ready. Off topic, Pinky passed his inspection. He needs a new wheel bearing on his front driver's tire, but that'll wait for a month or two. I was some pleased. Ariel has ear mites & if I'd had to fix Pinky this pay, I wouldn't have been able to get her looked at.

V

"The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, The sun forbear to shine; But God, who call’d me here below, Will be forever mine." -John Newton, last official verse, Amazing Grace.

Le Sigh, Stupid Black & White Moron.

Well, the cat hasn't come back. I saw and heard nothing until yesterday evening. He started carrying on like he used to while I was trying to sleep. So I got all excited and went out to see if maybe he was hanging around. I didn't expect to be able to get near him or anything, I just thought maybe he'd let me catch a glimpse of him.

Nothing doing. I did however get to meet the little guy who had gotten mine to go outside in the first place. Loving little buddy, almost all black, but he(she? I didn't pick him up to see.) has a splotch of white on his nose that spills down one side of his chest. His paws are white too. He was friendly as can be. I had taken some food out to try to lure my cat out of hiding and this one just bold as brass went up to Marvel's (my cat) dish and started eating out of it. I took it away from him, after all, who am I to feed somebody else's cat? Especially when I don't know who owns it. The neighbours on one side have an indoor cat, so it's not theirs. And the neighbours on the other side have a white poodle, so it's definitely not theirs!

In the end though, I left the food out all night, just in case Marvel was hiding out of sight super hungry, but scared to come closer. Some of it was gone this morning, but I have no way to tell who ate it, my guy or that other little one. The little black and white fellow followed me around the yard like a puppy though while I looked with the flashlight to see if I could find my idiot stick. I wish Marvel would be so friendly. I just want a cat that I can pat once in a while, lavish some love on. Poor thing thinks I'm out to get him when I would never do such a thing.

Apparently the neighbours with the dog saw them together though. They took off once the neighbours got too close, but that's a comfort anyway. I know he's not hurt somewhere or anything horrible like that. I still hope that he'll come back though. I'll deal with an out/in door cat if I have too. I'd rather have an all indoor one, it's safer, but I'll take what I can get. I expect he'll be back once it starts getting cold. He knows there's warmth and such here at any rate. That's something.

Stupid black & white idiot. I swear, it's like he's psychotic. At least he's outside now. If he wants to spray, have at 'er. If he'll work up the nerve to come back, I'll take him into the vet & get him fixed. That way at least I'm sure I'm not letting him spawn random wild babies that will cause problems out and around the area.

I just figured I'd update. I don't think anybody reads my blog, but just in case they do, I figured they might be curious as to what's going on with the moron. Poor little moron. I don't know what to do for him.

V - "Sometimes at night when I go out, the cookies watch me." -Anon.

Cats and Frustrations.

Well, I think I'm well shot of that black monster who lived in my basement. I don't know if I'm pleased or sad or both. I think I'm probably both. After all, I did really like that idiot and just wanted to be his friend, but as he was quite convinced I was some kind of cat eating freak, that wasn't happening.

I got a cat a year or so ago from a lady who just couldn't take care of all the cats she had. One of them had kittens and the kittens were nearly 5 months old & with the whole litter, she'd have had 6 cats. That's a bit much on anybody, especially for feeding. He was the friendliest of the litter, liked to be inside the most, was generally the easiest to make up to. He was definitely the easiest to catch, so I took him without a passing thought.

I should have stopped and taken the time to think things through and pray about it. He was a semi feral cat, meaning that he was partially wild & through and through outdoorsy. I brought him home, didn't dare let him outside in case he ran away & tried to be nice to him. But I wasn't allowed with 10 feet of him. Any closer and bam! He was off like a light, hiding.

We worked out an arrangement though. I'd talk to him and be nice to him & he'd let me see him on occasion. I'd hear him every night when I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't prevent that. Anyway, it's been a year or so. We tried a couple times after he'd been here for a while to let him outside, but he wouldn't go. I had sprayed "Cat-Away" spray on the door when we first got him to deter his trying to escape & he wouldn't go near it. He'd wander by it, look out, but wouldn't GO out.

He still hadn't started spraying, but he insisted on peeing where he wasn't supposed to, mostly in the entrance way of the upstairs or on the landing on the stairs. I kept his litter box clean & stuff & he pooed there, but he insisted on peeing by the main door. We were at our wits end. We couldn't catch him to fix him, we couldn't get him to go outside, nothing.

So I finally gave in. Dad was wanting him gone for ages. And I finally told Dad that I would see about renting a live trap from the SPCA to see about catching him & taking him over to the vet. There was nothing for it. I figured I would have to have him put down. I didn't want to, but what could I do? Nothing was working. I tried bribing him with the milk he likes, he wouldn't go near it unless I wasn't there. I tried sitting quietly and talking nicely to him and not moving. He wouldn't come near me. Things couldn't go on like that! It was driving us all crazy. Let me tell you, cat pee is just as smelly as any body else's pee. I was febreezing it up all the time.

Anyhow, last night we had an arguement. I tried his milk on him again & finally left him alone to drink it. AFter a bit, I heard him in the entrance way, scratching and peeing! When I was up & about! Stupid brat! I got up, chased him away and cleaned it up. It was right by the door, so I tried opening the door to see if he wanted out. He didn't. He didn't come back upstairs till after I shut the door. Then he went right back out and started peeing by the door again! I chased him off, cleaned it up & this time I moved his water container up by the door. They won't use the washroom near where they eat/drink. That's how I curbed him of peeing on the stairs landing, by putting his milk there. He got all whiny and sulky after that. I was nearly in tears. I told him that I didn't want to have him put down, I wanted him to live another long long time, but he was starting to leave me no choice. I was going to have to cave in to my parents wishes and let him go.

Anyhow, for the last few months I've been praying for a miracle to happen. I've been praying extra hard ever since I started saving up to rent that stupid live trap. I did NOT want to have to kill him because he wasn't suitable for me & my life style. It felt very like the easy way out & I shunned the idea. So I prayed that God would provide me a way that I wouldn't have to. Either let the cat calm down enough that I could easily catch him & take him in to be fixed, or somehow let him get outside, so he can be the outside cat again that he is meant to be.

God answers prayer, every single time. I was in the washroom, doing something at the mirror & he was just around the corner, and down the steps on the landing. He'd whine a bit now and then to let me know that he wasn't impressed with me, but it wasn't anything unusual. Suddenly I realized that the chirruping noises he was making were not noises that I'd ever heard him make. I poked my head around the stairs, caused him to jump from the landing, down one step & looked. He was wideyed, staring from me to the door & back again, his tail three sizes too big. There was another little cat outside who'd heard him and wanted to make friends!

So I worked my way out of the washroom so I was sitting at the top of the stairs. I took the next 10 to 20 minutes slowly working my way down the steps, so I could get that door open again. He was in the basement by the time I did get it open, but he'd hung right around the bottom of the steps, watching. I was making sure to be very careful not to make sudden movements and to make sure he could see that I wasn't trying to get to him or anything, just the door. I propped it open and retreated up the stairs, to about 5 feet away from the door at the top. I leaned against the washer and watched & waited & prayed desperately that this would be the miracle I'd been praying for.

He inched his way up the stairs, over to the door and out it. After a good 20 minutes, he was sitting on the cement block of our step. I was shaking, I was so nervous & frightened, nearly in tears again, praying so hard & trying to talk softly and soothingly to him to encourage him too. I tried to inch my way over to the top of the stairs again, so I could go shut the door, but he caught on & jumped back in onto the landing, getting his wet paws on the carpet. I backed right off again. He went back to the cement block much quicker this time. I tried inching forward again, but he threatened to run back in again, so I backed right off & made sure I was walking right heavy as I went away, so he'd know I was at the other end of the house.

Once there, I tightened my sandals (they were loose & scuffling a little, which may have been further nervous making him) & then went to the kitchen table & sat down, my arms wrapped around myself, shaking. I noticed Dad's bible and opened it to his bookmark. I figured I would read to sooth my nerves & give me something to occupy my mind while I waited a little bit. It opened to Psalm 138.
"1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord,
for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways,
for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles,
you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me."

I read it audibly, though quietly, so as not to upset him. Verse 3 leapt off the page at me and John 14, verse 13 & 14 forcibly came back to my mind.

"13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"

So I reread Psalm 138 nearly a dozen times, went through the two Psalms I know by heart. I was still shaking, was still nervous and frightened, but I flipped ahead and read through John 14 too. (I've been trying to memorize it.) Anyway, as I read it, verse 27 calmed me considerably.

"I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."

After I was finished, I took the time to pray, in the name of Jesus. I asked Him to work His perfect plan in this & could He please let this be the miracle I'd been praying for. I asked that He please get the cat to properly go outside & that the cat would be happy. Could Jesus please keep the cat safe from cars & other animals, so that the little guy wouldn't get smacked by a car or eaten first day of freedom. And if it was okay, could He please let the cat come back at one point, preferably in a very short while, a changed cat, a little bit more friendly, so I could touch him & take him in to be fixed. So that way he can become an in/out door cat. Out when he wants, but inside enough to keep the mice scared of the place.

Anyway, when I went back to the door some 25 minutes later, he was gone. I nearly cried. There were little wet paws prints on the landing from where he'd jumped back in those two times, but not one on the steps or the basement floor. I'd cleaned his litter before I gave him his milk earlier; it was still spotless. I stepped outside & looked around, but I didn't see him. He might have been in the shadows, but since he's mostly all black with a very tiny bit of white on his chest, I didn't see him. I've checked his litter periodically today. It's still clean. I keep going outside & looking around & he's not there.

I figure, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with." I know he was never mine to begin with. But I sure hope and pray that he does come back. Even if it's not for a while, like if he waits till it gets cold or whatever. But I do really like him, in spite of & partially because of his psychotic tendencies. I don't want him to be all outdoors.

But I sure am grateful to Jesus for answering my prayer for a miracle. I won't have to have him put down now. I didn't like that idea. I understood that I might have to, but I didn't want to. Anything but. I'm very grateful that God heard the fervent prayers of my heart & provided me a way out. And I've learned my lesson about taking semi wild cats off of people's hands for them. I'm planning to go to the SPCA and fostering a kitten from them. One with a super friendly disposition that wants to be friends with people. It helps them out, gets me a proper cat in the meantime while I wait to see if he'll come back. And if he doesn't ever, maybe I can end up adopting the little one I foster from the SPCA. Or just keep fostering kittens to help them out. They're crowded out of their minds & need people who can foster the sick kittens. Someone to take them home & give the little guys lots and lots of extra care & attention, so they will get over the sickness. I really don't know what's going to happen for sure. I've definitely been praying about it a lot this time. I'll not be making that mistake again, jumping into something so important without some thought and prayer behind it.

Anyway, I have to get to bed. I'm going to do my soon to be routine scan of the yard & see if I can find him & then go to sleep. I want to go to church in the morning, so I need to get to sleep.
Vicky
"One love, one God, one way!" -KJ 52

Different Style.

FINISH THE SENTENCES

My ex is . . . someone else's boyfriend.

Maybe I should . . . go shovel the snow.

I love . . . my peeps beyond life itself.

I don't understand . . . why some people are supposed to be allowed to believe what they want but as soon as I say I follow Jesus' teachings, I'm not allowed to.

I lose . . . pieces of my mind every day.

People say . . . that I must have a screw lose somewhere.

Love is . . . kicking their ass once they've gotten better from being stupid, and holding their hair back while they're still lost in the stupid.

Somewhere, someone is . . . sleeping, someone else is crying & someone else wishes the snow would go away.

I will always . . . be myself.

Forever seems . . . too far away.

I never want to . . . lose myself or be lost by my Saving Grace.

I think the current Prime Minister is . . . in power. Who is it this time again? I forget.

When I wake up in the morning . . . I wish sleep wasn't so hard to win.

I get annoyed when . . . I can't keep a grip on anything.

Parties are . . . maybe alright, depending when & where & what kind. Christmas parties are the best kind.

My dog is . . . 12 + years dead. I have a cat now.

Kisses are the worst when . . . they've gotten all old & white on the chocolatey goodness.

Today I . . . mean to watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Imporium.

Tomorrow I'm going to . . . spend the day at work.

I really want . . . more bacon.

I have low tolerance for people who . . . persistantly say one thing & do another.

If I had a million dollars . . . I wouldn't have any bills, nor would any of my closest friends & family.