Cats and Frustrations.

Well, I think I'm well shot of that black monster who lived in my basement. I don't know if I'm pleased or sad or both. I think I'm probably both. After all, I did really like that idiot and just wanted to be his friend, but as he was quite convinced I was some kind of cat eating freak, that wasn't happening.

I got a cat a year or so ago from a lady who just couldn't take care of all the cats she had. One of them had kittens and the kittens were nearly 5 months old & with the whole litter, she'd have had 6 cats. That's a bit much on anybody, especially for feeding. He was the friendliest of the litter, liked to be inside the most, was generally the easiest to make up to. He was definitely the easiest to catch, so I took him without a passing thought.

I should have stopped and taken the time to think things through and pray about it. He was a semi feral cat, meaning that he was partially wild & through and through outdoorsy. I brought him home, didn't dare let him outside in case he ran away & tried to be nice to him. But I wasn't allowed with 10 feet of him. Any closer and bam! He was off like a light, hiding.

We worked out an arrangement though. I'd talk to him and be nice to him & he'd let me see him on occasion. I'd hear him every night when I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't prevent that. Anyway, it's been a year or so. We tried a couple times after he'd been here for a while to let him outside, but he wouldn't go. I had sprayed "Cat-Away" spray on the door when we first got him to deter his trying to escape & he wouldn't go near it. He'd wander by it, look out, but wouldn't GO out.

He still hadn't started spraying, but he insisted on peeing where he wasn't supposed to, mostly in the entrance way of the upstairs or on the landing on the stairs. I kept his litter box clean & stuff & he pooed there, but he insisted on peeing by the main door. We were at our wits end. We couldn't catch him to fix him, we couldn't get him to go outside, nothing.

So I finally gave in. Dad was wanting him gone for ages. And I finally told Dad that I would see about renting a live trap from the SPCA to see about catching him & taking him over to the vet. There was nothing for it. I figured I would have to have him put down. I didn't want to, but what could I do? Nothing was working. I tried bribing him with the milk he likes, he wouldn't go near it unless I wasn't there. I tried sitting quietly and talking nicely to him and not moving. He wouldn't come near me. Things couldn't go on like that! It was driving us all crazy. Let me tell you, cat pee is just as smelly as any body else's pee. I was febreezing it up all the time.

Anyhow, last night we had an arguement. I tried his milk on him again & finally left him alone to drink it. AFter a bit, I heard him in the entrance way, scratching and peeing! When I was up & about! Stupid brat! I got up, chased him away and cleaned it up. It was right by the door, so I tried opening the door to see if he wanted out. He didn't. He didn't come back upstairs till after I shut the door. Then he went right back out and started peeing by the door again! I chased him off, cleaned it up & this time I moved his water container up by the door. They won't use the washroom near where they eat/drink. That's how I curbed him of peeing on the stairs landing, by putting his milk there. He got all whiny and sulky after that. I was nearly in tears. I told him that I didn't want to have him put down, I wanted him to live another long long time, but he was starting to leave me no choice. I was going to have to cave in to my parents wishes and let him go.

Anyhow, for the last few months I've been praying for a miracle to happen. I've been praying extra hard ever since I started saving up to rent that stupid live trap. I did NOT want to have to kill him because he wasn't suitable for me & my life style. It felt very like the easy way out & I shunned the idea. So I prayed that God would provide me a way that I wouldn't have to. Either let the cat calm down enough that I could easily catch him & take him in to be fixed, or somehow let him get outside, so he can be the outside cat again that he is meant to be.

God answers prayer, every single time. I was in the washroom, doing something at the mirror & he was just around the corner, and down the steps on the landing. He'd whine a bit now and then to let me know that he wasn't impressed with me, but it wasn't anything unusual. Suddenly I realized that the chirruping noises he was making were not noises that I'd ever heard him make. I poked my head around the stairs, caused him to jump from the landing, down one step & looked. He was wideyed, staring from me to the door & back again, his tail three sizes too big. There was another little cat outside who'd heard him and wanted to make friends!

So I worked my way out of the washroom so I was sitting at the top of the stairs. I took the next 10 to 20 minutes slowly working my way down the steps, so I could get that door open again. He was in the basement by the time I did get it open, but he'd hung right around the bottom of the steps, watching. I was making sure to be very careful not to make sudden movements and to make sure he could see that I wasn't trying to get to him or anything, just the door. I propped it open and retreated up the stairs, to about 5 feet away from the door at the top. I leaned against the washer and watched & waited & prayed desperately that this would be the miracle I'd been praying for.

He inched his way up the stairs, over to the door and out it. After a good 20 minutes, he was sitting on the cement block of our step. I was shaking, I was so nervous & frightened, nearly in tears again, praying so hard & trying to talk softly and soothingly to him to encourage him too. I tried to inch my way over to the top of the stairs again, so I could go shut the door, but he caught on & jumped back in onto the landing, getting his wet paws on the carpet. I backed right off again. He went back to the cement block much quicker this time. I tried inching forward again, but he threatened to run back in again, so I backed right off & made sure I was walking right heavy as I went away, so he'd know I was at the other end of the house.

Once there, I tightened my sandals (they were loose & scuffling a little, which may have been further nervous making him) & then went to the kitchen table & sat down, my arms wrapped around myself, shaking. I noticed Dad's bible and opened it to his bookmark. I figured I would read to sooth my nerves & give me something to occupy my mind while I waited a little bit. It opened to Psalm 138.
"1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord,
for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways,
for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles,
you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me."

I read it audibly, though quietly, so as not to upset him. Verse 3 leapt off the page at me and John 14, verse 13 & 14 forcibly came back to my mind.

"13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"

So I reread Psalm 138 nearly a dozen times, went through the two Psalms I know by heart. I was still shaking, was still nervous and frightened, but I flipped ahead and read through John 14 too. (I've been trying to memorize it.) Anyway, as I read it, verse 27 calmed me considerably.

"I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."

After I was finished, I took the time to pray, in the name of Jesus. I asked Him to work His perfect plan in this & could He please let this be the miracle I'd been praying for. I asked that He please get the cat to properly go outside & that the cat would be happy. Could Jesus please keep the cat safe from cars & other animals, so that the little guy wouldn't get smacked by a car or eaten first day of freedom. And if it was okay, could He please let the cat come back at one point, preferably in a very short while, a changed cat, a little bit more friendly, so I could touch him & take him in to be fixed. So that way he can become an in/out door cat. Out when he wants, but inside enough to keep the mice scared of the place.

Anyway, when I went back to the door some 25 minutes later, he was gone. I nearly cried. There were little wet paws prints on the landing from where he'd jumped back in those two times, but not one on the steps or the basement floor. I'd cleaned his litter before I gave him his milk earlier; it was still spotless. I stepped outside & looked around, but I didn't see him. He might have been in the shadows, but since he's mostly all black with a very tiny bit of white on his chest, I didn't see him. I've checked his litter periodically today. It's still clean. I keep going outside & looking around & he's not there.

I figure, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with." I know he was never mine to begin with. But I sure hope and pray that he does come back. Even if it's not for a while, like if he waits till it gets cold or whatever. But I do really like him, in spite of & partially because of his psychotic tendencies. I don't want him to be all outdoors.

But I sure am grateful to Jesus for answering my prayer for a miracle. I won't have to have him put down now. I didn't like that idea. I understood that I might have to, but I didn't want to. Anything but. I'm very grateful that God heard the fervent prayers of my heart & provided me a way out. And I've learned my lesson about taking semi wild cats off of people's hands for them. I'm planning to go to the SPCA and fostering a kitten from them. One with a super friendly disposition that wants to be friends with people. It helps them out, gets me a proper cat in the meantime while I wait to see if he'll come back. And if he doesn't ever, maybe I can end up adopting the little one I foster from the SPCA. Or just keep fostering kittens to help them out. They're crowded out of their minds & need people who can foster the sick kittens. Someone to take them home & give the little guys lots and lots of extra care & attention, so they will get over the sickness. I really don't know what's going to happen for sure. I've definitely been praying about it a lot this time. I'll not be making that mistake again, jumping into something so important without some thought and prayer behind it.

Anyway, I have to get to bed. I'm going to do my soon to be routine scan of the yard & see if I can find him & then go to sleep. I want to go to church in the morning, so I need to get to sleep.
Vicky
"One love, one God, one way!" -KJ 52